Fisher football falls to Mount Union

With a score of 26-14, the Cardinals lost to the Purple Raiders today in the Division III semifinals. While the score seems kind of far apart, from watching the game, things were a lot closer than that score let's on.

I guess, like last week, it just took Mount Union a couple quarters to get moving. Fisher never led but managed to keep it close for most of the game. If it wasn't for an errant snap in the second, the game would've been tied 7-7 for the most part.

The Fisher defense seemed to play solid, coming up with some big stops and even forced a Mount Union fumble. The offense came up empty handed a couple of times and missed a field goal.

All in all though, this had to be the best season in the history of Fisher football. A 12-2 final record, a trip to the NCAA playoffs, and showdown against Mount Union. Not too shabby. Not too shabby at all.

After taking a step back last year, this program took a giant leap forward this season. I honestly cannot wait to see where we're ranked in the D3football.com poll to start the 2007 season. A Final Four appearance should rocket the Cardinals into the top 10, possibly top five. To be one of four teams left in the Division III program is quite an accomplishment especially to be amongst the company of a Mount Union.

But take heed, Mount Union. We've seen each other now. A little bit earlier than expected but we're familiar now. And in 2008, we're coming for you.

Fisher travels to Mount Union this weekend

Cardinals Advance to D3 Semifinals!

In a dominating win, Fisher knocked off Rowan to advance in the playoffs. In the Final 4, the Cards may face Mount Union, up 17-7 at the moment.

More to come later on.

Updated Division III Bracket (11/27)

With the win over Springfield, the Cards move on to face Rowan next Saturday at home. With the defeat of Springfield, it would seem appropriate that Fisher could call itself the true Empire 8 Champion now. You know, just saying. Click on the bracket above to enlarge it.

Fisher to take on Mt. Union

For those of you paying attention to this column, you'll know that on a few occasions, I've mocked or challenged Mount Union. The Purple Raiders have won seven Empire III Championships and are consistently ranked number one in the d3football.com poll.

Beginning in 2008, Fisher will play Mount Union, replacing Kings College on the schedule. Sadly, I'll have graduated and moved on by this point but I'll pay attention to the result of this game. In all likelihood, the Cardinals will probably get knocked around by the Purple Raiders at first. I'd like to think though that the learning curve will be quick and the Cardinals will eventually be able to defeat the D3 powerhouse. I really would.

A defeat of Mount Union by the hands - or wings? - of the Cardinals would most likely bring on a dramatic change in the rankings.

I can't wait.

Updated Division III Bracket (11/20)

Fisher defeated Union College yesterday setting up a rematch with Springfield College next weekend. Click on the bracket to see a bigger view of the bracket.

Athletics keystone of St. John Fisher College

I was thinking about writing another edition of weird sports that we should add to the Fisher athletics program. Last year, I made the proposal to create cricket, elephant polo, and Russian roulette teams . . . and no one ever got back to me on it.

Oh well.

I thought they would be exciting at least.

This got me to thinking though, what would happen had no one responded to the initial requests of basic sports at Fisher? You know, the first time a really tall kid brought up the idea of creating a basketball team? Or, the first time a kid who could throw a ball really far brought up the idea of creating a football team?

Actually to answer that last question, just see Nazareth. Or RIT. Go Tigers football! It’s grrrr-eat!

Anyways, just try to imagine this campus without any sports teams. What would Fisher be like without the athletic aesthetic?

Well, alumni and family weekends would be kind of strange without the football team to watch. What would the slew of visitors do in lieu of this activity? Hmmm . . . well . . . Fisher doesn’t have much going on on-campus does it? I guess everyone could hang out in the campus center . . . and . . . well . . . yeah, there’s not much there either. I guess alumni and family weekends would be just a little bit pathetic without the football team, huh? I pretty sure my family wouldn’t want to hang out in the campus center and watch COP work through the windows. Boring.

How about that rivalry with Nazareth College? Could we still hold onto that without athletics? Maybe we could start up a math league or something. Does anyone know if mathletes fight each other? I’d hate to be the security officer assigned to the multiplication matches.

“Daddy, what do you do for your job?” little Bobby would ask his father.

“Well son, your father works security at the Math Olympics,” the father would say. “It’s my job to make sure the fans don’t get into fights. You know son, there’s a lot excitement at those math matches – without me there, who knows, fans might get out of control and start throwing abacuses or something.

Little Bobby would look up at his father now. “Daddy? Am I adopted?”

Okay, so the idea of taking athletics out of the Fisher-Nazareth, ahem, equation would leave us with little to fight about. I mean, there really isn’t much to fight about when everyone already knows that Fisher is the superior institution.

So without athletics here at Fisher, we’ve so far checked off any excitement on alumni and family weekends and kicked the Fisher-Naz rivalry to the curb. What else could we examine?

How about the use of the space that the athletics facility now takes up? Imagine if the strip of land between the old Fishbowl up to I-490 was empty. Short of building a landing strip – Fisher International Airport anyone? – what could we use that area for?

Well, what could Fisher use? What are we missing? And you can’t say a pool or ice rink since that defies the purpose of this exercise. Hmmm . . .

I know. This is the answer to the biggest problem on this campus right now – besides the ladybugs that have invades my room, that is – a parking garage. We could use that space to put up a massive, leviathan of parking garage.

Only one problem. Without athletics on campus, without teams and players to rally around, we wouldn’t need to house all those cars. Why? No one would stick around if we didn’t have the athletics that we do.

Yeah, Fisher might not be perfect when it comes to athletics. Some of our facilities might be a little outdated or over-packed. We have teams that lose. We don’t have a pool or a track or an ice rink. But we’re doing pretty well.

Now how about that elephant polo team?

- Originally published in the Cardinal Courier (Volume 6-Issue 4; November 1, 2006)

Ten-nial Celebration

What you are reading right now is the tenth edition of Extra Innings. In honor of this milestone, I’d like to look back and reflect on some points that I’ve previously addressed. I thought it would be cool to have ten points – but I don’t have that much space. So here’s five. In an order that makes sense to me.

5) I’m sorry about the Seneca Park Zoo’s loss of the baby elephant. Earlier on in the year I made the comment that they’d be “birthing some more elephants” and that we could borrow them for elephant polo. I felt kind of bad looking back at that. So, I’m sorry, elephant lovers of the world. I’m a Republican, so it touched me too.

4) I proposed that our football team should challenge USC. In the end, our season didn’t turn out exactly how we wanted it to but hey, neither did USC’s. On top of that, they basically lost the entire team to the draft. At least we still have a lot of our guys for next season. Ha. We’re still going to get you, Mount Union. You just wait.

3) Hockey got a raw deal. This is probably one of the hardest working club sports at Fisher and deserves to either be made an official sport or get better funding. I know that it’s a club’s responsibility to get funding but it’s an expensive sport and it really isn’t logical to expect them to foot the bill by themselves.

2) I still stand by what I said about the mascot. Update or overhaul. It’s a cardinal, not the Phanatic.

1) I recently commended the school for naming the basketball court in honor of Bobby Wanzer, the founding coach of the game here at Fisher. I praised the administration for refusing to succumb to monetary desires and for recognizing an integral part of our history.

I take it back.

I found out that for the court to be named after Wanzer, a group had to raise $100,000 in his name.

Ten grand.

Is that what it takes to honor someone here at Fisher? Money? Where’s the honor in that? What’s next? Rich Uncle Pennybags Presents Bon Appetit? Richie Rich Hall? Montgomery Burns Park-N-Ride?

I’m sorry, Bobby Wanzer, but despite all the pomp and circumstance you saw at the ceremony unveiling the court, the school insulted you. And we all owe you an apology for letting that happen.

And with that, here’s to another ten.

- Originally published in the Cardinal Courier (Volume 5-Issue 10; March 5, 2006)

Dear Coach Carroll

Dear Coach Pete Carroll,

I am writing on behalf of St. John Fisher College to invite your football team, the USC Trojans, to come play our team, the SJFC Cardinals. Yes, I realize that your team plays Division I and we play Division III but it’s all football, right? Yeah.

I’ve looked at the stats and we’re really pretty similar. Your starting quarterback, Matt Leinart, has completed 63.1% of his passes and thrown for 1947 yards and 12 TDs. Our starting quarterback, Nick Suchyna, has completed 71.8% of his passes and thrown for 1597 yards and 18 TDs. Matt may have us when it comes to passing yards but Sooch takes the crown when it comes to completion percentage and TDs.

Top USC running back Reggie Bush has 761 yards rushing and, look at this, our James Reile also has 761 yards rushing. And Reile has three more TDs than Bush, 12 for Reile and 9 for Bush.

When it comes to receiving, Troy falls. Yeah, you’ve got Dwayne Jarrett with his 568 yards and 9 TDs but I’ve got one word for you – Noah Fehrenbach. Well, I’ve got one name for you. This kid has 918 yards and 12 TDs.

Okay, you guys may be ranked number one nationally for what, something like 70 weeks? The last time someone else was in first place, there was a Democrat in the White House. Yeah, we might be 13th in the D3 polls but we all know that the other Division III teams cheat. Yeah, the cat’s out of the bag now, Mount Union. Ha.

I’ve got a couple of stipulations that would go along with you playing us. First off, Matt Leinart has to throw with his non-playing hand. That’s only fair. This guy’s going to be the first overall NFL pick come next draft so I think he can overcome this change in his game. Reggie Bush, you’re going to wear a blindfold. Remember how much fun that was back in kindergarten when you had Mexican Day and had a piñata? You’ll enjoy this too.

Also, I know that Leinart is friends with the Simpsons sisters. Bring Jessica. Please. There are a lot of people here who would really appreciate that. Ashlee? Don’t mess around with us like that, Pete. I know that you’re trying to get rid of her but don’t dump her here. We don’t want her either.

We’ll take care of all the costs, just save your receipts. I’ll submit them to RSA or something. Unlike other guests – cough, Gavin DeGraw, cough – I’m sure you guys won’t rip us off.

Let me know what you think about this proposal, Mr. Carroll. Feel free to give me a call sometime and we’ll work out the details.

Thanks.

Bill Kuchman

-Originally published in the Cardinal Courier (Volume 5-Issue 4; November 2, 2005)

Masked Mayhem

Did anyone see our mascot at the last football game? Yeah, me neither. There was some guy in a red chicken suit pacing back and forth on the concourse – what’s that? That was our mascot? Oh. I see.

So our school has a highly competitive football team and a packed beyond capacity stadium. But the representation of our school, our spirit is a scrawny, red bird. Possibly made of felt. Or rejected Muppet. I’m not really sure. He’s never come into the stands. I’ve never seen him lead a cheer or do a cool dance or mock the other team. In fact, I’m not even sure if he’s a him.

Does or mascot have a name? Is it something clever, like Carla the Cardinal? Brock the Bird? Fernando Fowl? (See, alliteration is clever.) Maybe the mascot should wear a name tag or something. Not like we’d be able to see it as he hides under the stands.

In case you haven’t realized it yet, a mascot can pretty much get away with anything it wants. Ever see these guys at other sporting events? Mascots dance on dugouts, hassle refs, steal kids’ hats, and high five just about anyone within arm (or wing) length. Just out of curiosity, has anyone ever gotten a high five from the Fisher mascot? Yeah . . . that’s what I thought.

We need a new mascot. A bold mascot. One that better represents our campus. Here’s what I propose. The mascot will still be a cardinal but will actually look like a cardinal. He might wear sunglasses, since guys who wear sunglasses all the time are cool. For example, whenever Snoopy put on sunglasses, he became Joe Cool. And we all want a cool mascot, right? Now our mascot’ll need a slick name. I’m going with Crusher. Crusher the Cardinal. Since we crush our opponents. That’s tough.

A couple of people have told me that the Fisher mascot is actually a work study job and that he only shows up when there’s a student to do it. Somebody gets paid to be the mascot? The school pays someone to have the right to anonymously have free reign of the crowd and most of the stadium? I’d do that for free. In fact, I’m offering my services right here, right now. I’ll be the mascot at a football game for free. With full immunity, that is.

- Originally published in the Cardinal Courier (Volume 5-Issue 2; October 5, 2005)

'Til Fandom Come

Fans. Without them, athletes are just playing in front of empty seats. And unless you play for one of “The Big Two” here at Fisher (basketball and football), you may have noticed that there aren’t many fans at your games. Or any fans at all.

If you play football or basketball, consider yourself lucky that you have huge crowds and “Cardinal Crazies.” If you play for any other sport, well, it appears that your fan base may be made up of the “Cardinal Cadavers” – explaining why none of them showed up to watch you play.

Why don’t we support all of our Fisher sports? Where’s the TLC for baseball, golf, men’s basketball, men’s lacrosse, men’s soccer, men’s tennis, softball, volleyball, women’s basketball, women’s lacrosse, and women’s tennis. Don’t forget that there are numerous club sports that weren’t even mentioned. These teams work just as hard as “The Big Two” but just aren’t getting the same results fan-wise. Don’t the other teams deserve the same love that we bask “The Big Two” in?

In the case of groups like the men’s soccer team, it seems like they’re doing everything they should be. They play at Growney Stadium, home of the football team, so everyone should know where to find them – we did pack a record 5,983 fans into the stadium for the homecoming game last weekend. This is the team that went to the Empire 8’s last season. The blame for the lackluster attendance is on the shoulders of the student body for this one. Teams like the soccer team deserve our support.

Why aren’t we flocking to soccer games? Or baseball games? Ask yourself these questions. I’m pretty sure that MTV’s going to repeat that episode of Laguna Beach so you really don’t have an excuse. You may not be a big sports fan. Odds are though, you have a friend on at least one of these teams. Go to the game just to support that friend. And once you’re there, maybe the sport will grow on you.

It would be nice if every sport enjoyed the crowds that The Big Two receive. Teams that are doing everything they can like the soccer team are getting cheated. We should all be at their games. They’ve earned it.

Like most of you, I’ll be at the next football game. I’ll be at the basketball games once they start up. But, unlike a lot of you, I’ll be at the next soccer game.

- Originally published in the Cardinal Courier (Volume 5-Issue 1; September 21, 2005)