Baseball Reigns

October has rolled around again and everyone knows that this football season. Or hockey season, I guess. But mainly football season. So why hasn’t that been the subject of conversation lately? One word:

Baseball.

Yes, baseball – the sport that everyone says is dead, that nobody watches, that’s boring, that’s slow, and that’s any other complaint people have come up with. For the past couple years now, come October, baseball rules. Classes are let out early to watch the games, professors check scores during class, strangers stand around the TVs in the Cyber Café discussing the games. For a sport that no one cares about, people seem pretty interested.

These dorms are a hotbed for baseball during the postseason. Last year, there would be a dozen people in my room, glued to the TV, screaming and cringing at every play. Up and down the hallway, the anguished cries of fans could be heard, as their teams went blow for blow.

I will concede though, that this boost in popularity may be due to the apocalyptic series that the Yankees and Red Sox have fought in the past few seasons. If it was the Royals and Devil Rays, I’m guessing most people would be checking out that great Outdoor Life Network programming instead. I guess we’ll find out if that’s the case since this year both the Red Sox and the Yankees have already been eliminated (well, look at it this way, Boston – only another 85 years until the next championship now).

Without the Yanks and the Red Sox, fans of the other teams, of the Cardinals and of the Angels, will have a chance to see postseason glory. This could prove to be a good thing for baseball. Different teams will mean that more fans can be drawn in. I know that there are White Six fans on this campus who love the fact that they get to play this October. The new, young stars of the small market teams’ll finally get some exposure.

Maybe a postseason battle without the Yanks will be a good thing for the game. The Yankees have won their fair share of World Series and it’s someone else’s turn. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go make a sacrifice to the Baseball Gods to assure them that I don’t actually mean that.

- Originally published in the Cardinal Courier (Volume 5-Issue 3; October 19, 2005)

Masked Mayhem

Did anyone see our mascot at the last football game? Yeah, me neither. There was some guy in a red chicken suit pacing back and forth on the concourse – what’s that? That was our mascot? Oh. I see.

So our school has a highly competitive football team and a packed beyond capacity stadium. But the representation of our school, our spirit is a scrawny, red bird. Possibly made of felt. Or rejected Muppet. I’m not really sure. He’s never come into the stands. I’ve never seen him lead a cheer or do a cool dance or mock the other team. In fact, I’m not even sure if he’s a him.

Does or mascot have a name? Is it something clever, like Carla the Cardinal? Brock the Bird? Fernando Fowl? (See, alliteration is clever.) Maybe the mascot should wear a name tag or something. Not like we’d be able to see it as he hides under the stands.

In case you haven’t realized it yet, a mascot can pretty much get away with anything it wants. Ever see these guys at other sporting events? Mascots dance on dugouts, hassle refs, steal kids’ hats, and high five just about anyone within arm (or wing) length. Just out of curiosity, has anyone ever gotten a high five from the Fisher mascot? Yeah . . . that’s what I thought.

We need a new mascot. A bold mascot. One that better represents our campus. Here’s what I propose. The mascot will still be a cardinal but will actually look like a cardinal. He might wear sunglasses, since guys who wear sunglasses all the time are cool. For example, whenever Snoopy put on sunglasses, he became Joe Cool. And we all want a cool mascot, right? Now our mascot’ll need a slick name. I’m going with Crusher. Crusher the Cardinal. Since we crush our opponents. That’s tough.

A couple of people have told me that the Fisher mascot is actually a work study job and that he only shows up when there’s a student to do it. Somebody gets paid to be the mascot? The school pays someone to have the right to anonymously have free reign of the crowd and most of the stadium? I’d do that for free. In fact, I’m offering my services right here, right now. I’ll be the mascot at a football game for free. With full immunity, that is.

- Originally published in the Cardinal Courier (Volume 5-Issue 2; October 5, 2005)